Albufeira, 24hr survival guide for stags and hens.

Faro Airport

Arriving at Faro airport can be either a simple or complicated task depending on how well equipped you are to deal with things. Firstly, most cheap airlines (Easyjet, Jet2 and Ryanair) don’t pay the fees to have their planes dock at the main airport terminal, and as most of us will be travelling with them you need to know the plane will on 90% of occasions park around 500 metres from the actual terminal this means, the doors will be delayed in opening as they have to wait for the ground crew to drive buses, ramps, luggage carts etc into place before you can disembark the aircraft, so stay in your seat, don’t bother standing up to get your baggage down and then stand uncomfortably in the aisle being kicked by other passengers and having luggage dropped on you as people try and drag their belongings to the floor, or worse, if you had a window seat with your head pressed against the overhead lockers hoping to god they open the doors. Just sit back relax and don’t get wound up, switch on your mobile, check Facebook or even post a picture or two to Instagram, nobody can go anywhere as even when the doors open the first idiots who rush off the plane have to wait in a 90 degree coach on the runway while everyone else gets off.

Where am i staying?

You wouldn’t believe the amount of phone calls we get from group members at 3 or 4 in the morning asking how to find their hotel. They are always totally wasted and have no idea where they are so it’s almost impossible for us to help. All hotels have business cards available at reception, with the name and address of where you’re staying, grab a handful and make sure you dish them out to your group, if anyone gets lost, heads off to a different bar, gets too drunk or a mixture of all three, they can at least hand the card to a taxi driver who will get them home.

Your second option is to find a bar near your hotel, get everyone there have a few pints and make the bar your base for the weekend, save the name to phones, get business cards, remember the name or whatever else it takes to have some reference point close to your accommodation, believe us when we say after a few to many drinks you wont have a clue where you are, so prepare yourself.

Shops, water and food

I know you will think we are idiots to say this and by the time you arrive you will probably be well on your way to being at least a bit pissed, but take a break when you arrive, hit the nearest supermarket, but loads of bottles of water (you cant drink tap water here), Milk, cereal, protein bars, bananas, fruit juices and paracetomol. Trust us when we say if you wake up in the morning/middle of the night/middle of the day and your dehydrated, hungover and generally feeling like shit you will be glad of the water, fruit juice and tablets to get you back to normal. One of the most common reasons members of the group will start to feel like shit on day 2 of your 3 day weekend is due to dehydration 2 days of drinking, pissing, drinking, pissing, eating a kebab, shitting, drinking and then pissing again, takes its toll, a bottle of water and some fruit juice will save your life, litterally

You survived 24 hours

So you have followed of 24 hour survival guide, you have made it through the airport, arrived in Albufeira, checked into your hotel, stocked up on some provisions, this is where we leave you to get on with your holiday and enjoy yourselves. Good Luck!